Taking a few days break from the office, I headed to Nice in France. And a lovely break was had. Here are a few observations and encounters…

Day 1
Observations from today…
…the coffee machine in the hotel is a no nonsense gadget with one espresso or two espresso settings…
…sitting by the sea in Nice is an expensive business unless you brave the stones…
…children roaring in any language annoy me…
…there is indeed one gin in the universe I can’t drink…
…four Irish women in frantic search of a corkscrew and paper cups in the afternoon are my tribe…
…people can look out to sea for extraordinary lengths of time without speaking…
…a man out jogging in shorts, no shirt and scratch marks the length of his back is not a good look…
 
Day 2
Observations from today…
…you can wear a dress back to front for an entire day without noticing…
…hearing people say ‘hashtag’ in the middle of whatever language they speak is just plain weird…
…pedestrian crossings in this town are like an extreme sport – yes, you may cross when the light turns green but I can drive right over your sorry ass if you don’t move quick enough…
…it is possible to get lost on a tram going one way – in a straight line…
…school French comes racing back when there’s coffee/food/ alcohol to be ordered…

Day 3
Today, I headed out of town…

On the local bus to Monaco with four ‘Made in Chelsea’ wannabes who discuss at length how they need a new house for their cats, how well they know Nice, how Monaco is like a second home, how they got ripped off €50 for drugs in a Paris club which turned out to be three Smints, get frustrated when they can’t remember the name of the “ocean” they are looking at, laugh at “how the only way to leave Monaco is drunk and bloodied”, panic look at Google maps “to make sure Monaco is actually in Europe” before getting off the bus about ten stops early…

Observations from today…
…an Irishman roaring “Stick with the system” to his mate sounds as stupid on a street in France as it does on O’Connell Street…
…a man walking straight towards a mirror, and not the exit, is in for a shock…
…an altercation between a Muslim mother and a Jewish couple on the tram is ugly in any language…
…in Nice, I saw yachts bigger than our house…in Monte Carlo, I saw yachts bigger than our estate…
…a Frenchman called ‘Warren’ (‘Oui Warren, War-ren, W-A-R-R-E-N’) has as much difficulty explaining his name to his kinsfolk as ‘Fachtna,’ (‘Yeah, Fachtna, Facht-na, F-A-C-H-T-N-A ‘) to the Irish…
…Monte Carlo has to be one of the prettiest but loudest places I’ve visited in a long time…