Ah, Sebastian (Croatia: 2009)

Lying on a sun lounger in the glorious, Croatian, sunshine. So peaceful. Everyone either reading or snoozing. Bliss.

Then he arrives – the four year old from hell.

And so it starts – jumping in and out of the pool. Splashing everyone around. Splashing a lady full force in the face.

Daddy stands there saying “Oh no, Sebastian. I may have to put you on the Naughty Step.”

“But Daddy, I am playing ‘splash-around, splash-around.”
“I know”, responds Dad – without insisting he apologise to the lady, calm down and behave.

And so it continues.

Now Mummy and Daddy are sitting at the edge of the pool, legs dangling in the water as their little joy annoys everyone around.

“Would you like lunch, Sebastian?”
“NO!”
“Aren’t you hungry?”
“NO!”
“Wouldn’t you like to have something to eat?”
“NO!”
“What about Pizza?”
“NO!”
“Mmmmmmmm…lovely pizza!” and the two parents rub their tummies in a circular movement.
“NOOOOOOOO!”
“Yum, yum, yum in your tum!” continue the parents using gestures better suited to a TV programme for tots.
“NO!”
“Mummy and Daddy are hungry. Come have lunch with us!”
“NOOOOOOO!”

On and on this negotiation continued for what seemed like an eternity but what was probably 20 minutes. All around were now sitting bolt upright, growing angrier and angrier by the upset.

Then the end of the conversation which got him out of the pool and hurtled the rest of us to besiege the Manager with complaints.

“Mummy and Daddy need to eat, Sebastian.”
“NO!”
“If you don’t get out of the pool now, we will have to go back to our own hotel…”
“Oh!”

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