Every exchange I have with people on this holiday makes me feel like I am on holiday in The Twilight Zone. A few examples?

Reporting my bag stolen at the police station and the rather delicious looking cop tells me – in Spanish – that he doesn’t speak English. Fine. In Spanish, he outlines the procedures for making the report and then repeats the exact same words slowly (in Spanish) as if proffering a translation…

Then I asked at Reception for directions to the nearest Western Union outlet. The response was “You know where it is?” I stop myself from giving a sarcastic answer…

At the Western Union outlet, the man tells me – in English – he does not speak English but the guy beside him will translate. He then says – in English – “I must go to the bank and get this money. I will be back in 15 minutes.” Guy beside him looks puzzled but eventually says – in English – “He says he must go to the bank to get the money. He then comes back here [gestures with fingers to show he means this place] in 15 minutes.” He finishes off his slowly delivered ‘translation’ by illustrating 15 minutes with his hands…