What’s in the bag?

“What’s in the bag?”
“An omelette maker.”
“So what does it do then?”
“Eh…it cooks omelettes…”
“Does it make waffles?”
“Eh…no.”
“Why not?”
“Eh…it’s the wrong shape.”
“Wrong shape for what?”
“Eh…waffles.”
“Why did you buy it then if it doesn’t make waffles?”
“Because I bought an omelette maker to make omelettes…”
“Hmmmm…no need to be sooooo sarcastic!”

Mothers’ Day Memories

“I’m posting me Ma her Mothers’ Day card.”
“Now?”
“Yeah.”
“Now as in today?”
“Yeah.”
“Way too early. Waaaaaaay too early!”
“Huh?”
“It’s not for another two weeks.”
“I know. I know. But she’ll kill me if I forget.”
“Thing is – if you post it now, she’ll have forgotten all about it by Mothers’ Day so you’ll be in trouble.”
“I can’t win this one, can I?”
“Nah!”

March 2017

Praise where praise is due?

“Yeah, got called into the school about his behaviour.”
“Really? I thought he was such a quiet, well-behaved, chap.”
“Oh, he is. He is!”
“Oh! But he’s only young.”
“Yeah. Eleven.”
“So what did he do?”
“He’d a box of pencils.”
“I don’t understand. Was he stabbing the others with them?”
“Good God – no!”
“What then?”
“He was simply renting them out to the others at a daily rate of two euro.”
“Per pencil???”
“Yes.”
“And what did the Principal say?”
“Something about the ‘extortion’ having to stop.”
“You sound disappointed.”
“I am. I am. After all the fees we paid that school, I thought the very least they could do was praise his entrepreneurial spirit!”