Poor kitty, kitty, kitty

“The cat went missing the other night.”
“What did you do?”
“It was raining so I sent himself out to find it.”
“Quick thinking!”
“I *know*!”
“Did he find it?”
“Yes. Eventually. There was a clatter in the back yard. Some screeching. And some shrieking.”
“Ah, poor kitty.”
“Poor kitty??? Poor kitty??? That feral fecker was fine. It was the husband who came in like the walking wounded, covered in scratches and blood!”