Misunderstood attention…

She looks at me through the glass. This sultry young one with her long, dark, hair. Her gaze turns to a stare that bores straight through me. Getting unnerved, I still hold firm. I think ‘Ya can stare all you like but I’m not being ousted from my comfy seat!’

And yet, she continues to stare, her eyes widening as each moment passes. I look back, totally resolved not to give up my seat.

Then her demeanour changes to a more seductive pose. Still looking straight at me, her tongue begins to stroke the side of her lips. Slowly, very slowly, she raises a finger to her mouth and gently, very gently, begins sucking on it.

I’m looking at the girl at the glass and she’s looking directly back at me. She’s still sucking the tip of her finger and I’m thinking to myself ‘WTF is this young wan on?!?’ And yet, I can’t look away.

As she slowly turns to the corner, between the glass and the wall of the train, her long hair falls back and I see the wires from her headphones. Her eyes now closed, her mouth gently moving, I realise she’s on the phone and I’m left in no doubt what the person at the other end is ‘discussing!’

My car’s better than your car…

So I’m listening to these two on the train. Truthfully, it’s only one as the other cannot get a word in edgeways. The first woman is lamenting that her beloved soft top has to be stored for the winter months.

“I know it’s only a 03, and you probably drive a 04 or 05, but I really will miss it.”

Sharp intake of breath and the other one replies…

“I drive a 162 – actually…”

“Oh”, winces the other. Her car driving status painfully ripped from underneath her like a Bandaid off a 6 year old’s knee!

[2016]

Why ask a woman…?

Pulled up tonight at the self-service petrol station. Stopped the car. Credit card into the machine. Choose option. Enter PIN. Fill car. Simples.

Young fella pulls up on the other side of where I’m filling my car. New to the system, he loses his cool as he cannot understand the system. Starts roaring at his female companion that it’s a wonder the country’s in a mess as no f-ing American tourist could work this out.

Fine. Everyone has a meltdown now and again. What makes me laugh is, that rather than ask the woman next to him (that is, me!), he strides forcefully across the entire forecourt to the car at the furthest pump to ask a man how to work the pump.

During the meantime, his girlfriend has asked me for instructions. He returns, refuses to listen to her, throws another tantrum, gets into his car and drives off!

What a charmer!